I once read a GQ article as a youngster that talked about defining objects. It was an article that really hit home at the time that I read it, and one that, to this day, still makes so much sense to me. I wish I still had the article, or even knew where I could find it. Believe me, I've tried. But, the point of the article was that for many of us, we bring ourselves close to things that define us. That is, things that show the world who and what we are. The article concluded by giving an example of the author standing in line behind a gentleman whose suit was tattered and appeared that he had a fairly hard life up until this point. But, as the author looked over this gentleman, his glance came upon his shoes. They were immaculate. Brown leather. Wingtips. Polished and well taken care of. This was one of the things that this gentleman held on to and kept up to show the world who he really was. He was sophisticated. He was polished. He was a gentleman.
I've never forgotten that article. All through my life, I've been drawn to certain things that I felt defined me to the world. But more importantly, they ground me to my inner self…to my real self. Surrounding myself with certain objects allows me to remind myself of who I am when the world starts to beat down a little too hard. Or, even, when the world gives prosperity and goodness. Extremes are just that, fleeting moments of ups and downs. Our defining objects help us to remember who we are at the core.
Many people may take this as materialism, but it's not that. It's deeper. What defines you doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be flashy. It just has to speak to you deeply; it has to BE you.
All through my life, many of my defining objects have never changed. And, at my core, rarely do they ever change; you see, I feel that we often know what things define us from a very young age—even if we don't recognize it right away. Of course, every once in awhile, we find something new from an experience we never conceived. From a very young age, I've been drawn to office supplies (funny, I know), but more deeply, it pulled to my love of pen and paper. I love pens. I collect pens. I love good paper; there is nothing like setting pen to paper to really feel free. I have fountain pens, and I love using them and seeing how they each write a little differently across the paper, and how each paper takes the ink differently, too. I love taking my bottles of ink and filling them (no cartridges here). There is something wonderful in being present in what you do. Not taking a ballpoint and using it until it's done, throwing it out, and grabbing another. But rather, opening the bottle of ink, using the pen to draw up as much as it can, and taking the time to clean off the excess ink. It's not fast. It's not convenient. But it's true. You are present in that moment…you are grounded.
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Part of my pen collection |
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I love bottled ink! And this hand-made blotter! |
Rocks. I've grown up loving rocks. I can remember once taking a trip with my family to the
Inclined Plane in Johnstown, PA. For some reason, perhaps just for me (I feel sometimes things are set in your path as you need them), they had an assortment of stones available for purchase. I remember there being amethyst (I believe that's when I first learned what my birthstone really was), I remember there being quartz, and there were others that have faded from memory. But I know they were pretty, and I knew from the moment that I saw them, they defined me. They had an energy about them that truly spoke to me. They were from a time long before me, and they were pulled from wherever in the world to land in my hand. They felt good. They felt worldly. They felt earthy and deep.
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My labradorite and opal desk paperweights…always close to me |
Records. I grew up listening to them on a little child record player at home. I wore them out. Sonny & Cher. Johnny Cash. Those were my favorites. I have no idea how my mom and dad didn't get sick of hearing
Ring of Fire as I danced around the house. I lost track of this love for a long time. Cassettes came along, then CDs. Then MP3s and other digital formats. But, there is nothing like having a shelf full of round slabs of vinyl that somehow take a needle and make a beautiful sound. It's mechanical, it grounds you in the now more than other formats that can play continuously without thought. When a record side is finished, you must get up, walk over, remove the needle, flip the record, and reset the needle (I use an all-manual record player). Again, the idea that you need to be in the moment, in the now.
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Part of my current record collection |
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Nothing beats the sound of vinyl |
To this day, pens, paper, gemstones, and records still hold such an important part of my heart and being. There is something about them that simply grounds me in my own person. They talk to me and they can let the world know, if others are watching, what I think it means to be me.
Do you have any defining objects in your life? I'd love to hear about them!
I agree with this wholeheartedly! I like to think of things as touchstones. Sometimes that meaning is readily available and sometimes you have to spend time with something to discover those secrets. And we all give things our own, individual, personal meanings. It's one of the most thrilling and scary things as an artist. Once you create something and make something and create this connection to this thing and then you put it into the world, part of you loses that bond... but it is replaced with what others think and feel when they come in contact with it. So there's this sense of loss, but also abundance, as the interpretations and possible receptions are endless.
ReplyDeleteFor me... objects that define me are my books, pieces of artwork, and owls. But as you well know, I find a lot of comfort in objects and like to surround myself with as many things as possible! It's like the warm embrace of happy memories and inspiring thoughts.
I love the idea that part of you goes with your object, but you gain when someone else puts their feelings onto that object. It's an interesting concept to think about…how far your reach could go and how many people it could go with. And how much could be returned to you…
DeleteI had not really thought about my things this way, but it is true. What I cannot project myself about who I am, I do so through my defining objects or touchstones. These things I am certain about in a way that I am not always certain about who I am. Now I can tie the two together! My defining objects tend to be items from nature - shells, sticks, bugs, stones, etc. I have loads of them! They are real, natural and often unique despite looking different. Hmm....I'm going to go ponder that about myself! Thank you for a great read.
ReplyDeleteHey Becky! I'm so glad that you enjoyed my little post! And, it's great hearing and seeing what others find as their defining objects. I think that sometimes these things are so much a part of us, that we almost overlook them. It's just so natural to see them as a part of who we are that we don't always acknowledge them…if that makes any sense! It's great to be able to see the connection and really find a way to always have a grounding agent in your life. At least, that's what I've found. Thank you, again, for reading!!
DeleteI enjoyed this post very much. I have surrounded myself with unique objects over the years and did not feel it was materialistic. I have special connections with each of them. Finally I have a better way to relate to them, thanks to your post! You have given words that I can reflect on that help me better understand this connection and take comfort in it, rather than feel guilty for collecting material things. Much like Becky, from a previous post, most of my objects are from nature- shells, stones, sticks, leaves, and so on. I sometimes keep them out in the open to see and touch. Other objects are kept in special boxes with others that are meaningful. I also believe they can define us in many ways. Great post!
ReplyDelete~Linda Calderon
Hey Linda! Thanks so much for reading! I am really glad that my post has helped you connect and understand the items nearest and dearest to you. I think, something that both you and Becky touched on, something really can be said for the power of nature and natural things. I think, in some ways, we're all pulled back to nature in a very primal way at our core. These definitions objects that we surround ourselves with often speak to that. I also believe that everything we surround ourselves with is a way to reach out to the world to show who we are. Everything we keep and everything we give away says something about us. Goodness knows that I have more around me than pens, paper, gemstones, and records! But, at my core, these are the things that I believe I will always return to…even after the others have faded. Thanks so much for your comment; it has made me think further, too!
DeleteWe all have objects and touchstones that define us. I also have a love of office supplies....I'm not quite up to collecting pens (although I have friends who do!) but even for work, I'll pony up to buy the fanciest highlighter collection for everyone to use and use the most awesome rollerball....I'm maniacal about my pens.....And I'm an audiophile so I'm right there with you!
ReplyDeleteHey Barbara! I think the great thing about these objects is that you don't need to have anything fancy or necessarily have a collection of them. I'm sure that everyone around you knows this part of you, and that's what it's about. It shows the world a bit who you are. Look how much I've learned about you in just a few minutes!! :-)
DeleteThis is such an interesting post. No objects came immediately to mind. I'm not really attached to things. although I like them. Even beads; I really love them but I don't know that I feel attached to them in that way. When I think of what I am really attached to, it is my family, and as I look around my house, it is filled with carvings by my father, artwork by my brother-in-law, sister, sister's girlfriend, etc. My family grounds me and so I surround myself with objects that show their love for me and bits of their personalities.
ReplyDeleteHello Ann! Honestly, you caught me without much to say to that (very rare for me lol)! I'm not sure what to say about having nothing that you feel is a defining object in the way that I see them. What I can say is what you do have…I think that's beautiful. As I grow, I realize how fleeting some things are. Times with family are insanely important. And once family members are past, their possessions…things we saw them with all the time and once took for granted…bring with them a new meaning and significance.
DeleteI don't think that's pretentious at all! Your cars encompass everything that everyone here has been talking about. It's a touchstone for you, as Andrew said, that carries a personal meaning to you. And, as Ann said, they are things from your family that help to ground you. I think that anything can be a defining object to someone. It could be big or small. Inexpensive or otherworldly expensive. It all comes down the the person and how you see yourself in it. I like how one object means so much to you in so many different ways.
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